A conversation in four moves

Say how something landed, without the argument.

This is for the moments when something's got in the way between you, and you want to name it in a way the other person can actually take in. One of you speaks; the other listens. Then you swap.

Speaking first

Listening first

Nothing you say or type here is saved or collected. There's no account, no data, nothing sent anywhere. The tool is free to use, as often as you like.

Before you start

A few things worth settling first.

Is this a good moment for both of you to talk, without a rush?
Are you here to feel closer again, rather than to win the point?
Are you ready to go through the four moves, one at a time?
Can you let go of how it's received? You can only offer your part.

No hurry

That's a good call to make.

Come back to this when there's a bit more room between you. Nothing here is going anywhere, and the conversation will land better when you're both ready for it.

How this works

Four moves. Your own words. No typing.

You'll see four cards, one at a time. Each one names a move. Read it, then say your version out loud to them, in whatever words are true for you. Tap through at your own pace.

The order matters. Facts first, then the story you made, then the feeling underneath, then what you're asking for. Keeping them apart is what makes it land.

Name speaking

Move 1 of 4

What I saw or heard

Just the facts.

Name listening

Your turn to take it in

You don't have to fix it, defend anything, or answer straight away.

When you're ready, say back the one thing you heard most clearly. Not to agree with it, just to show it reached you.

That's the four moves

Whatever came up, you said it cleanly.

The rest is what you do with it together. You can run through it again whenever something needs saying.